Loved and lost [Lilith Hallows] Aug 2, 2012 0:13:30 GMT -4
Post by Nekayne on Aug 2, 2012 0:13:30 GMT -4
Here is a short story from Lilith's teenage years. I like writing bits of her past from time to time. I feel as if it explains parts of her that otherwise would be ignored or assumed upon.
Anyways, light sexual themes, nothing extreme. Please don't critique, this isn't supposed to be a masterpiece.---
“I don’t get it.”
“You’re not getting it because you aren’t even trying the problem questions.”
“Then I don’t get the point of doing the questions.”
An exasperated sigh escaped from Lamore’s lips as his pencil scratched against his notepad, a math textbook opened at its side. Letting his hands fall into his lap, his pencil still twined in his fingers, he slowly turned in his rolling chair to face his bed where Lilith lied on her side. Her head rested on her hand and her free hand tapped a pencil against the black page of her own notebook. “Look, Lil, if you want my help then you’re going to have to at least give it a shot.”
“I can’t help that I don’t get this stuff. Why are triangles even important?”
“If you question whether anything we learn is important or not, you’re going to feel all of it is useless.”
“Well, it is.”
Lamore sighed once more as he tossed his pencil atop of his notepad. “Fine. How about we take a break?”
“Thank God.” Lilith dropped her pencil and rolled herself onto her back, her arms spread out on both sides of her and her long locks messily strewn about behind her. She shuddered and zipped her sweater up to her neck. “Geez, Lamb, why does it have to be so cold in your house?”
“Ice type family.” Lamore answered half-heartedly as he pointed to the Dewgong horn that protruded from his forehead. “Just wrap yourself in the blanket.”
Lilith complied, reaching for the side of his comforter and bringing it over her, immediately rolling onto her side and cocooning herself. Her shudders stopped as she slowly began to warm.
A silence began to envelope the room. Lilith looked away from the math textbook before her eyes and switched to looking at Lamore, who was glancing over his own notes. She muted a sigh as she stared at him.
They were nothing without each other.---
“I don’t have anything, really, I-“
“Shut up already, faggot.” A tall, thick boy cut off the freshman Dewgong that was slouched over before him. “Do you think we want anything you got?”
“Then why are you bothering me?”
The boy twisted his lips into a crooked grin. The three other boys with him, similar in stature if not a little smaller, smirked at the display. He moved forward towards the Dewgong, causing the Dewgong to keep stepping back until his back hit against the wall of lockers.
“Because I can.”
With a quick strike to the Dewgong’s cheek, he was sent to the cold floors, holding back a grimace. The boys erupted with a cruel laughter as they took amusement in the display. The one that dealt the punch slowly made his way closer to the Dewgong’s fallen side. As the Dewgong made his attempt to climb onto his hands and knees, the boy kicked into his ribs, causing him to hit the tile once more.
The sudden shout of a female caught the boys attention. They all looked down the hall at once, seeing a Houndoom quickly coming towards him.
The boy’s grin was kept on his face, his eyes half lidded as he stepped before the Dewgong. “What do you want, babe?”
“I ain’t your babe so you can drop that wanna-be cool act right now.” The Houndoom spat as she approached the boy, stopping close before him. “The fuck do you want with him? He didn’t do nothing to you.”
The boy gave an infuriating shrug as he tucked his hands into his pockets. “Why not? He makes it too easy. Word is your pretty easy too.”
The other boys chuckled as the main boy turned an interested eye to the Houndoom. “How about you and me go ‘round the courtyard and have some fun?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. I don’t think I’d be able to get those twenty seconds of my life back.”
The boys chorused in a series of ‘oohs’. The main boy’s grin suddenly dropped as he stared at the Houndoom. “You think your such hot shit, Lilith, but you ain’t nothing special.”
“You were sure interested until I denied your sorry ass.” The Houndoom retorted, raising a brow at the boy. “Now why don’t you go get that black eye checked out?”
“What black eye?”
Not even a breath after the boy’s inquiry, Lilith’s fist had swung straight towards his face and landed straight into the socket of his eye. She drew back and watched as the boy doubled over, his hands clasping onto his face as his friends came forward, unsure whether to watch or give aid.
“You fucking bitch!”
“Get lost before I make it a matching set!”
The boy clenched his teeth, hesitating for a moment before pushing past her and leaving, his friends following at his heels.
“Dumbasses.” Lilith mumbled as she watched the boys retreat. She turned to look down at the fallen Dewgong and knelt down, a hand being placed onto his back. “Hey Lamore, you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine…thanks.” The Dewgong groaned as he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, then slowly to sitting on his legs, his hand making his way to the pain in his ribs. He lifted his head to view Lilith, brushing the strands of white hair from his face and adjusting his circular glasses that shielded vivid blue eyes. “Wait, you…you know my name?”
“Yeah, I caught it in class.” Lilith shrugged. “I’m Lilith.”
“I know.” Lamore said. He paused for a moment before stuttering, “I don’t mean like, I know, I mean—“
“Relax.” Lilith interrupted. A faint smile crossed her features. “It’s not a big secret.”
Lamore nodded. Feeling a little nervous, he swallowed hard and shuffled himself so he could stand. “W-well, thanks again—“
“Wait!” Lilith suddenly stood up, standing before the Dewgong Pokemorph. “I have something to ask of you.”
Lamore swallowed harder this time, suddenly extremely nervous at what someone of Lilith’s notoriety could be asking of him. Not finding the right words, he simply nodded as if to ask her to continue.
“I really need a tutor.”
“A tutor?” Lamore blinked, dumbfounded.
“Yeah.” Lilith gave a defeated sigh as she slouched her shoulders, her natural barriers temporarily falling down. “Look, I’m failing math and science. Like, really failing. I do not want to stick around here longer than I have to.”
“I don’t know if I can do this…”
“Look, it won’t be for nothing. I can offer something in return.”
“I-I’m not t-that kind of guy, I mean I think yo—“
“That’s not what I was talking about.”
“Oh.” Lamore’s face suddenly flushed.
“I see you getting’ roughed up a lot. How about if you tutor me, I be your bodyguard? No one messes around with me so if I stick around you, they’ll let off. How about it?”
“Lil? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Huh?” Lilith suddenly blinked, breaking her gaze from Lamore as he stared back at her. She shook her head, keeping herself wrapped in her cocoon. “No, I was just thinking.”
Lamore stared at Lilith as she averted her gaze. He sighed and picked himself up from his chair, opting to sit at the edge of the bed beside Lilith. “I know it’s not ‘just stuff’, Lil. What’s on your mind?”
“It’s not nothing.” Lamore stated. He let his hand fall onto Lilith’s covered shoulders and gently rubbed along her arm in a comforting manner. “You tell me everything. Why can’t you tell me this?”
“It’s just…” Lilith trailed off. She sat herself up, allowing the comforter to fall about her lap. “I don’t know why commitment is so hard.”
“You broke up with Derek?”
“It’s been what, a week maybe?”
“A bit more.” Lilith sighed as she stared at her hands in her lap. “I don’t know, I just get so nervous. I mean, this tutoring – this is the longest I’ve committed to anything.”
“See, you’re doing alright then. You’re getting there.”
“I’m not.” Lilith shot back, her emotions starting to become clear. “I’m okay with this because I know it’ll end when we’re done with high school. I know it’s not forever.”
“Is forever what scares you?”
“Maybe…” Lilith ran a hand back through her hair, her long locks brushing down to the middle of her waist. “It’s just, when you’re with someone for the long run, you have to give them all of yourself. What if I can’t do that?”
“What makes you think you can’t?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t open up to people to like that.”
“You’ve opened up to me.”
Lamore blinked. He took a deep breath as his throat suddenly became dry. He swallowed. “How am I different?”
Lilith suddenly looked up to the Dewgong, her own red eyes staring into his abyss of blues. Her heart began to race and her breathing began to increase. She licked her lips, giving a small shake of her head. “It’s nothing.”
“Because I think of you differently.”
Lamore stopped. He took a deep breath, his hands suddenly becoming clammy. He audibly cleared his throat. “H-how exactly?”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
“Yes we do.”
Lilith huffed. She couldn’t deny him the truth, no matter how hard she tried. There was something about him that brought her walls down and made her feel like she was standing naked in the spotlight, completely exposed, yet wanting to be found. Wanting to be held and told that she was worth something to someone. The way he spoke, the way he respected her, the way he just knew things about her that she didn’t even know. Her stomach began to fill with the feeling of dozens of butterflies flapping about inside of her. She licked her lips once again, her eyes flipping between her hands and his eyes. “I just feel…I feel differently about you.”
“You…” Lilith huffed, closing her eyes. “You just get me. You understand me and I’ve never felt so…so right with someone. So at home, so at peace, so happy. I feel that you are truly the only person I could be with forever.”
A silence fell between the two teenagers as they sat on the bed in silence. Lilith stared down into her hands, unwilling to look up. Lamore stared at her, struck into silence. His hand slowly made its way over Lilith’s. “Hey-“
“You know back when we met?” Lilith suddenly raised her head, her voice frantic and quick as she spewed all the truth held within her. “In the hall and I knew your name? That’s cause I made a point to remember it. I didn’t just ‘catch it’. There was something about you that just drew me in and I needed to know you, but I knew you wouldn’t talk to a girl like me for no reason. A girl that just throws herself about at anyone who will give her the time of day because she’s never been loved and she just hopes that one day one of these guys will be Prince Charming and it’s just—“
Lamore brought his other hand up and gently placed it on the side of Lilith’s cheek, forcing her eyes onto his own. He leaned close, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I never, for one moment, judged you for your actions. I stuck by you because I admire you for who you really are, whether you know you’re this person or not. You know what I see when I look at you?”
“I see a person I can spend forever with.”
Lilith closed the gap between them, her lips softly planting on Lamore’s as her eyes squinted shut, forcing built up tears to never make their presence known. She moved closer to Lamore, pushing him back onto the bed until she lied over him, deepening the kiss as Lamore wrapped his arms about her in a tight embrace. She began to rub through his hair and down his neck, trailing along his body, until Lamore suddenly broke away from the kiss.
“W-wait, Lil, I can’t do this.”
“Look, I-I’m just not that kind of guy.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Lilith whispered as her lips trailed along his neck, planting tender kisses that only further excited and conflicted the Dewgong.
“Just, I, I can’t go through with this.”
Lilith picked herself up, her face hovering over Lamore’s, her fiery hair framing about his face. Her weakened, exposed features drawing him in. “Don’t you like me?”
“I do! I’m crazy about you! I just, I-“
“Then there’s no problem.” Lilith brought herself back in, her lips finding Lamore’s once again. His hormonal instincts kicked in, and his hands caressed Lilith’s back, their activities carrying on through the evening.
The moon shone bright through Lamore’s window. Crickets chirped from outside, filling the room with sound other than the panting of the two bare occupants. They lied silently, sweat glistening their skin and hair sticking to their necks.
“Yeah?” Lilith looked to her left to catch a glimpse of Lamore’s face. Where she thought she would have seen the kind, soft Lamore, she saw a strong look that was completely foreign to his countenance.
“I said I didn’t want to do this.”
Lilith’s brows narrowed in confusion. “But you still did it.”
“You took advantage of my feelings.”
Lilith sat herself up, looking over at Lamore. “How did I take advantage of you?”
“You didn’t stop the first time I asked you to.” Lamore sat himself up at once, his tone suddenly bitter, devoid of the calmness it once held.
“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was such a big thing to you—“
“It was!” Lamore shouted, causing Lilith to shuffle back slightly. “Just because sex doesn’t mean anything to you, it doesn’t mean that it means nothing to me! You know, for a moment there I was hoping that maybe, just maybe this would be different. That maybe this would be the start of something great. But I was wrong.”
“No, you weren’t wrong!” Lilith protested as she leaned closer to Lamore. “This is different! I…I confessed everything to you. That’s more than I ever did with anyone! You know that!”
“Yeah, great. You are able to talk to me.” He said coldly.
“What is wrong with you all of a sudden?!”
“You didn’t respect my wishes, Lilith.” Lamore shouted as he stood from the bed, leaning over to retrieve the clothes that were tossed there earlier. “For me, that act meant everything. It meant real trust and a real commitment. But it meant nothing to you. Nothing at all. And that kills me.”
Lilith fell silent as she watched Lamore put his clothes on. “Lamb…”
A pain emitted throughout Lilith’s chest. Her stomach began to turn and her hand tried to comfort it, but it did nothing. She slid out of the bed, retrieving her own clothes and quickly slipping them over her form. During the whole process, she was expecting Lamore to say something – anything. Say that things were still the same, that he would see her tomorrow and to have a goodnight. Instead, he just sat down in his rolling chair with his back faced to her.
“You know I love you, Lamb.”
“I did love you.” Lamore responded, his back still turned to her. “But that changed pretty quickly.”
Tears. Lilith chewed on her lips, taking in a deep breath as she tried to contain her emotions. It was no use. She quickly opened his bedroom door and ran down the stairs, fleeing out the front door and into the suburban streets. Tears trailed down from the sides of her cheeks, her voice choking up as she raced home. It only struck her that her fear was useless – the fear of not being able to give everything to a person. Her racing, hurt-fueled thoughts soon made sense of it. She had given Lamore everything without realizing it.
“What good did that do?” Lilith choked as she ran, voicing her thoughts to herself as she ran under the street lamps. “What good came from giving myself to someone? It just…it hurts so bad…”
Her tears hit the pavement as she ran, leaving a trail from the DeRuse house and making its way towards her own. A trail of tears. A trail of a sorrow that had never been experienced before.
The tearful trail of a broken heart.